It’s officially May 2021, which means it’s my Birthday month! This month, on the 12th I am turning 35 years old… Google seems to tell me 35 is middle age (thanks G)! But anyway, I have been alive a long time.
I decided about a month ago that I was going to do a post about what important gems I have learned through life so far. Then I thought what better way to do it then actually write out 35 things?!
I’m not going to lie, this task was a lot harder than I anticipated. And it’s taken me over a month to get this all planned out and organised, but I’ve finally got it all together. So here it is, my 35 life lessons:
35 Things I’ve learned…
1. Baz Luhrmann made a lot of fucking sense. I remember when Baz released ‘wear sunscreen’ back when I was in school & at the time I hated it. I couldn’t understand how everyone had purchased & enjoyed a piece of music that was basically a dude talking over some music. I was a young teen who wanted my favourite boy/girl bands to be rocking the charts. But the older I got, the more familiar I found the lyrics he wrote. If you haven’t listened to his ‘Wear Sunscreen’ I highly recommend it. Lots of wise words.
2. There’s nothing wrong with having ADHD. I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until I was 24, it gave me a closure for a lot of my childhood but I still spent a lot of time cursing the concept of having it & that being why I was so annoying & unlikeable. But the older I have gotten, the more appreciative I am of the fact that this is part of who I am. ADHD is actually quite fun to have 🙂
3. You may not stay in touch with all your old friends and that’s perfectly okay. When you’re young, your best friends back then are so important. We convince ourselves that we will always be best pals until we’re old. But the truth is, it doesn’t always work out that way. I don’t still socialise with anyone I went to school or college with, but I am a different person now to what I was then. Sometimes people grow apart, it doesn’t always have to be negative.
4. It is more than okay to be different to those around you. I’ve always been the ‘odd bod’ or ‘black sheep’, I used to hate it. But now I have accepted it. Being unique is more fun then fitting in.
5. If you haven’t spent time with them in more than 3 years, you probably don’t know them anymore. We all change as we grow. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t mean that you have to forget any bad stuff that’s happened or that you have to assume they’ve changed for the better. But as we grow and change different things in our lives, we develop as people & may not have the same behaviours as we used to.
6. Reading is still the best escapism.
7. No-one posts their bad points on Social Media. It’s important to remember when we are looking at how beautiful or happy someone else looks in their post, that for all we know they could have had a mental breakdown every day leading up to that post. No one wants to show their ugly/sad points. Remember that when you feel envious.
8. Endless rejection & unrequited feelings has a much more creative advantage then you think. I used to bitch a lot about my ‘tragic love life’, but when it comes to my writing it has actually given me a massive creative advantage. Sometimes writing about the negative stuff creates the best work.
9. Being single does not make me a failure.
10. You’re never too old to learn something new. I have actually found myself being more creative & trying new things in the last few years then I have my entire life, also a lot of the people I have met doing the same things are older or retired. It’s never too late to achieve your dreams.
11. Self-Love takes a long time, but it is doable.
12. Therapy is a really beneficial process to go through. I’ve done all sorts, counselling, CBT, psychotherapy. I think it is so important to get therapy where/when you can to address how your mind is working.
13. Gratitude is the smallest act but can make such a big difference to everything.
14. People will acknowledge or congratulate someone who has done the same as you, but not you – because it’s you. This is something I have experienced non-stop over the years. With work, friends, family etc. It’s a horrible thing to realise but sadly it is the way it is. Some people just won’t like the fact you’re doing well. There’s nothing you can do about it except continue being happy with yourself. You don’t need some bitter persons recognition.
15. Sometimes it IS you. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s those people who are always the victim, never thinking actually it might be my behaviour that’s the problem. But the fact is, we are all in the wrong sometimes. Sometimes it is you who was the bad guy. We can’t change it, what we can do is learn from it as we grow. But we must acknowledge that sometimes it’s not the other person. You can’t be the victim all the time.
16. Depression isn’t black & white. There is always more to depression then just simple sadness or bad moods. Try & be understanding if someone around you as depression. If you don’t understand how it works, do some research. But do not assume that suicidal people are selfish or careless.
17. You CAN become a less toxic person. At any time in your life, you always have the ability to acknowledge & change your behaviours.
18. Money can be more trouble than it’s worth. Don’t obsess so much over it. It can’t buy everything you need.
19. Going Meat Free is not as hard as you might think.
20. You can’t save everyone. (Nor is it your personal responsibility to feel like you have to save everyone either)
21. Marriage & Kids is not the be all and end all. By the way if you’re one of those people who constantly has to ask people when they’re getting married or having kids, please re-evaluate yourself because it’s none of your business. Some people don’t want children. Some people can’t have them. As individuals we are all allowed to have a career or other ambitions. You can still be single and childless and live an amazing life!
22. “Don’t ask, don’t get”. Sometimes you do just have to swallow your nerves & ask.
23. Making mistakes is okay. So long as you are learning from them.
24. The things you want take a lot of patience and time.
25. Time management is an important task that requires a lot of… time. (I will get there in the end).
26. Being open is okay and it is NOT attention seeking. We need to stop the misbelief that if you are honest about needing help or being sad that it is attention seeking. It’s not. Sadly, I seem to post about being sad a lot & needing help, but I never get anything from anyone. Sometimes people will talk the talk & say ‘I’m here if anyone needs me’ but it’s not always the case. But we still shouldn’t be ashamed to share our thoughts, feelings, struggles. It is okay not to be okay.
27. You cannot control how other people decide to view you. I have tried for many years to be popular or liked, I cared way too much about other people liking me, or guys fancying me for once. But the thing is, it’s beyond my control. People will always have their own perceptions, you cannot stop it. Just love who you are.
28. Oracle cards & Spiritual development are fantastic additions to life.
29. Turn off your damn phone! Mobile technology has changed rapidly over the years. It’s gone from just an easy way to text and call someone to suddenly there’s an app for everything, there is zero privacy any more. It’s both a blessing & a curse, but it’s important for your mental health to switch off sometimes. Take a break.
30. Life is very short & unpredictable. We really never know what’s around the corner. In the last year there’s been a global pandemic that made us all change our lifestyles & realise how much we take for granted. I lost a friend to the virus earlier this year. So many other people I know have lost people suddenly, don’t overwhelm yourself. Enjoy what you have & appreciate every day.
31. Learn to Let Go. Holding on to things isn’t always the best thing for you.
32. You don’t have to look back on everything with hatred. The bad stuff: look at those as lessons. Try to see the positive side as much as you can.
33. Grudges hurt you more than it does them. Sometimes it’s better to stop dwelling on petty little things.
34. There is still so much more we can do for the environment – we also need to put more education out there on just how bad things will be if we don’t start taking action soon.
35. There is only one me. I think this is something we all take for granted. We don’t appreciate our own selves enough. We are unique in our own ways & the only one who is always going to be around with us for our whole life 24/7. Appreciate and love who you are. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but remembering how special you are is so, so important.
And there it is. My 35 things that I have learned.
Are any of these similar to what you’ve learned in life?
Remember: it’s never too late to learn and grow.