Ah, unrequited feelings. They’re an interesting burden aren’t they? I think I can go as far to say that unrequited feelings is something we have all experienced at least once right?
Not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but I am the QUEEN of unrequited feelings. I develop feelings for people I know so damn easy. Over and over again. I then of course, experience rejection: over and over again.
Now you may have noticed that I refer to it as ‘feelings’ or i might mention things like this as infatuation, but not ‘unrequited love’. This is because for me personally, I don’t think it can really be love when I haven’t had the chance to be intimate with them, or know them properly. Also, I find that the feelings of infatuation can disappear very fast: proving it wasn’t really love to begin with. But more on that later.
Right now – we’re still on the initial oh wow I wish they were mine phase. What this post is specifically about, the unrequited infatuation and how it can actually be one of the most positive things to go through creatively.
Over the last year, I have been secretly into a handful of guys that I know. Each of these guys in question have absolutely no idea at all. Unless they’re psychic, which I’m pretty confident they’re not. You’re probably wondering now, if they have no idea then how can I call it unrequited for certain?
Well, I will be honest with you here, I’m quite happy with never finding out. I don’t have the confidence to tell people how I feel, and I’m actually okay with that. I’m a bit cheesy in the sense that I believe what’s meant for me will find me.
That’s also my way of saying ‘I’ve experienced way too much rejection in over a decade so I would like to save myself the humiliation thanks’.
I have actually been the bite the bullet girl with this kinda thing in the past, but I got scorned. A lot. I also don’t know whether it’s the ADHD brain or not, but basically all it takes is one simple event or just, a more appealing to the eye guy to appear and I’m over whatever it was I was thinking towards the latest crush.
But despite being a non-stop regular humiliating thing. Unrequited infatuation has been such an advantage to me creatively.
I never really thought about this in the past, until I started jumping back into the writing path, but I have spent a lot of time thinking up scenarios with unrequited infatuations. I realised there’s actually quite a few advantages to being in an unrequited feelings situation:
– they will always be a little bit better in your mind then they are in real life
– you can have this whole scenario with them in your head but never actually have to meet their family or try and fit in. (Sometimes the fantasy is better than reality, trust me on this one.)
– rejection is encouraging creatively. You need to feel the sad feelings where people you like don’t want you back at least a hand full of times in life (or in my case around 327 times).
– unrequited feelings are the best poetry and story telling arcs. Who doesn’t love a good unrequited story? Will they won’t they? Poetry and prose is also a beautiful way to reflect everything you feel out on to paper, I have written many poems and prose pieces about men and my unlucky experiences with them.
There is always some beautiful creativity you can find out of it.
So if you are pining for someone that you feel won’t want you back, and like me will never have the guts to say anything. Use this to your creative advantage, write everything you feel in whatever way you want or maybe even write a short story imagining a different outcome. These exercises are really therapeutic for overcoming those obstacles.
And eventually, after you’ve finished this particular crush or it’s fallen apart, you’ll realise there’s a better person out there for you. And you can write about that too 🙂